This post was written for inclusion in the Pregnancy Loss Week Blog Carnival.  Please join us at Fertility Flower for the week of August 23-27, 2010 where we will be featuring articles, posts and artwork about pregnancy loss. The following is a guest post from Cecelia.

Just to be sure my recollections and feelings were accurately expressed, I recently talked to my daughter about her miscarriage in 2004. This perspective is mine, but it is intertwined with my beautiful daughter and her husband.  Since that fateful day,she has successfully carried to term three beautiful children.

I remember the exact moment when they told us they were expecting our first grandchild.  I actually jumped up out of my chair in the restaurant and hugged them both!  So thrilled!  Every mom can tell you their hopes for that conceived baby,their joy, their dreams-this was certainly no different.  No different for me either.  I had been looking forward to being a grandmother long before I was at that stage of life!

Almost three months later, I remember the exact phone call, the pain in my daughter’s voice as she told me there was no heartbeat, and the urgency I felt to get to her.  They were in another city about 2 1/2 hours away.

My heart hurt so badly for them as I saw their pain.  This little baby was not insignificant, and would never be forgotten.   When we went to the hospital for the D&C, she was on the same floor as all the moms delivering healthy babies, and it seemed especially difficult to watch these other families come out expressing all the joy we had hoped for.  The sadness of knowing they were scraping away the last little bit….    My daughter was in a lot of pain.  As her mom, I felt pretty helpless.  I tried to minister to them both by being there,holding hands, doing a little cooking,cleaning,washing,  but I couldn’t really help the emotional part enough to make a difference at that time. She told me that I did help, so maybe it was being there with them.   I have since learned that it is especially hard when it is your first baby, not diminishing any loss at all, but the first one takes away your innocence.( I assume any loss would also do that for future pregnancies) I have also learned that people react to miscarriages in many different ways-some people just try again right away and seem pretty matter of fact, some grieve intensely,some less so, and some don’t talk about it, while others do.  It is very personal.  For me,it hurt on two levels-first because it hurt my adult child,and second because there is an empty spot for that missing grandchild.  I am always super aware of the doctor visits and check-ups, while not wanting to bring any attention or worry.It is kind of an “inside”anxiety, if that makes sense.

Our grandchild was born on the exact day the next year that she had lost the first baby.  That certainly seemed to be a special blessing!  She has given birth 2 more times since then. Yet she has told me that with each unltrasound,each check-up she holds her breath a little, until finding out that everything is ok.  I have great empathy for those of you who have suffered this loss.  I only hope that you find strength and encouragement in the stories of others,knowing that others understand and care, a kind of virtual ministering to others that have this shared loss.

God Bless from a grandma!