This guest post was written for inclusion in the Pregnancy Loss Week Blog Carnival. Please join us at Fertility Flower for the week of August 23-27, 2010 where we will be featuring articles, posts and artwork about pregnancy loss.
By Stacy Scimeca
These poems are about Anthony Michael Scimeca (born and died March 12, 2010 ). He lived for 5 hours and 5 minutes.
Please Don’t Tell Them You Only Held Me For 10 Seconds
It is I whose kicks you will always remember.
Samantha's Story
It is I who made you crave fruit salad, ice cream, and Mexican.
It is I who was created through your love.
It is I who you named while on the boat.
It is I who had you sleeping at eight.
It is I who you saw living inside.
It is I who you pushed out.
It is I who you took on the 5K and to Mexico.
It is I whose turn you will always remember.
It is I who changed your life.
It is I who made you a mom.
It is I who stretched your belly and your dreams.
It is I.
It is I you held for 9 months, 3 days,
AND 10 seconds.
It is I who you will hold in your heart forever.
*
Anthony’s Birth
31 hour labor
Beautiful hair, encouraged me to push harder
“What’s wrong with my baby?”, yelled me.
Grunting you, struggling to breathe
“What did I do?”, questioned me.
Beautiful you, brought to me
I held you, touched your beautiful face.
You looked at me, your beautiful blue eyes.
I told you, “I love you, Anthony! I love you so much!”
Gone to get oxygen.
Doctors return.
Doesn’t look good.
“Your baby is VERY sick!”
60% oxygen.
Called Saint Mary’s
On their way
Time is needed—-helicopters won’t fly
“If Anthony lives through the night we will be lucky!” we are told.
They’re here!
“Anthony will be wheeled in and you will have seconds with him. He will be in an incubator.
You may touch him through the holes.”
He arrives.
We touch him.
How sad.
“We need to go!”
Dom, Rae, and Keith leave.
We wait!
Dom calls
“He didn’t make it. I held him as he died. I told him we would see him one day and that we love him.”
The nightmare began. The reality began. Our new life began.
Wow. I love “Anthony’s Birth”, I have gone through almost the same situation. I love the feeling and emotion you put into writing that. I also love how it really touches on the chaos of it all and how quick it really does seem to go by, only to leave us behind in time, alone. Absolutely amazing poem!