Tags: Mental Wellness

Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever

December 27, 2011 – 7:37 pm

By Kim Corrigan-Oliver, certified holistic nutritionist

Awe, the dawn of a New Year, such an exciting time full of anticipation. It is also a time which usually brings with it resolutions. I am not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions – they are more gimmick than anything and for the most part are set without any real thought as to how the change will occur, what path it will take and what it will look like when you finally reach it.  You see for change to occur you have to have a plan and commitment to make it happen. A plan cements the commitment, when you have a plan you know where you are going, without it you have no idea. So let’s talk goal setting…that is after all what a New Year’s Resolution is, a goal you set for yourself or your family, and what most people fail to do is the planning.

The first step is selecting your B.H.A.G. (Big Hairy Audacious Goal). This is a big goal, something slightly out of reach but with the right plan and commitment doable.  Most New Year’s Resolutions could be classified as B.H.A.G.s. The problem is most people never make it past the first step, they never make a plan to achieve their B.H.A.G. and without a plan you have no idea how to get where you want to be.

The second step it to set up the steps, baby steps, which will get you to your B.H.A.G. There may be lots of little baby steps or just a few, it all depends how big your goals are. It may take months to reach your B.H.A.G. or years – either way you need a plan.

The third step is to prepare for obstacles. Taking time before you start your journey to plan for things which might get in your way will ensure success as you hit those little road blocks.

And that is it! Three steps and you are on your way. The real work begins now, actually putting your baby steps into action and working towards your B.H.A.G.

Keep in mind your B.H.A.G. is not set in stone, it will change and evolve as you move through the process of achieving your goals. Work with it, not against it and success will be yours.

If you haven’t noticed already I am a big goal setter, the plan above is the same plan I have used many times to reach my B.H.A.G.’s — from doing an Ironman, to going back to school, to opening Your Green Baby and to writing my book, I have set small baby steps for each and every one, I have mapped out things that just might get in my way and I am proud to say I have accomplished all of them and more over the years. If you have never done it for yourself or your family do it, trust in the process, set goals that mean something to you and make 2012 the best year ever!

Kim Corrigan-Oliver is a first time mom and published author. She is a certified holistic nutritionist specializing in nutrition for mom, baby and toddler. She loves good food and to cook. And, she loves to share her passion for all of the above with those interested in learning more about feeding their babies and raising healthy happy children. For more information please check out her website at Your Green Baby.

Other posts by Kim Corrigan-Oliver

Herbs and Fertility

Nutrition Guidelines in the Preconception Period

Cosmetics and Fertility

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Comments (0)

In The Thick Of It

April 19, 2011 – 10:35 am

By Julie Stockman

My husband and I have been building a house over the past year. We are now finally in the home stretch with an estimated move in date of less than two months away, which has increased our workload dramatically. When you add to this the advent of Spring with its new warmth begging us to get outside and work., it feels like we are trying to stuff a 36 hour to-do list into 24 hours of time every single day.

It’s hard in these busy times to remember that our children are still – as always – our highest priority. I see deadlines looming and I’m tempted to hire babysitter after babysitter to try to meet these external demands. I go to bed tired and wake up exhausted. I fantasize about my amazing ability to get things done with no children underfoot.

My toddler pleads with me for the fourth time in a day, “Reeeaad!” as she hands me a book and for the fourth time I say, “Not now,” and tell myself next time I will definitely sit down with her.

Last weekend there was a terrible car accident on one of our rural roads. A couple lost their only two children when they were rear-ended by a semi-truck driver who wasn’t paying enough attention to see their stopped car and turn signal. It makes me slow down. It makes me snuggle the children tightly and read Barnyard Dance and think about how my priorities have gone askew again. We truly do not have tomorrow nor yesterday at all. We truly only have right now, this very moment.

Perhaps it isn’t prudent to live in the moment all the time. But it is far worse to live only in the past and future, forgetting what is right in front of us. I’m certain that when the generation of women ahead of me – maybe grandmothers or great-grandmothers now – stop me in the grocery store to smile at and play with my children, they know this. They know how lovely it is to be in the thick of it.

In the Thick of It

There’s only the thick
In the thick of it
Twenty-four seven
Three hundred sixty five
Always on, always with
Never alone
In the thick of it

Early work, evening work
Dinner laundry breakfast lunch
Dinner laundry breakfast lunch
“Mama will you read me a story?”
More stories than time
More babies than laps
In the thick of it

Joyous screeching, angry screeching
Noisy running
Happy giggly noisy chaos
Swirling around and around and around the little house
“Mama watch this!”
In the thick of it

Lessons to plan in the wee night hours
Stealing moments of silence
Tired babies to tuck in
So tired mama can get tired time to be her tired self
And to do the things that should be ready
When the first eye pops open tomorrow
Twenty-four seven
Three hundred sixty five
In the thick of it

There are new friends, old friends, hurt friends, friends hurt
Boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, not friends
There’s “See you tonight, dear,”
As he heads out the door
And passing in the hall
Is when you see him most of all
In the thick of it

Then the driving permits make him stay up now
Papa’s turn to be tired
Spending tired time
Hoping his baby is not too tired
And the other drivers are not too tired
Mind wandering
Pushing away thoughts as fast as they come
In the thick of it

There is a family
In a bubble
And there are babies
Big now
Pushing, pushing against the bubble
Elbow here, fist there, knees everywhere
Pushing, pushing until the bubble that holds them
No longer has smooth round skin
But distorted, lumpy, pushing spots
Where the membrane stretches so thin it becomes nearly transparent until
POP!

There is packing, there is a dorm room, there are classes, there is long highway
There is now a Self
You are both so proud of her
You are both so scared for her
In the thick of it

There is more pushing
There is more stretching
There is POP! POP! POP!
More work
More tired
More highway
More hurry money deadlines now

And then

You are at last alone
In the thin of things
It is quiet

Quiet in the garden
Quiet during movies
Quiet reading novels
Quiet in our chairs
Having quiet conversations
In a quiet house

You are looking at each other
“I love you,” you say
“I love you,” he says,
Quietly

The heavy, deafening quiet throbs on your ears
You look down
You see your lap
You feel your lap
It is empty
It is empty and weightless
The emptiness is crushing
The longing makes your legs hurt

“I WANT TO BE IN THE THICK OF THINGS!” you scream.
I want to be in the thick of things
Twenty-four seven
Three hundred sixty five
Is it feast or famine?

Then I choose feast.

I will eat it up, drink it up, nourished, full
I will feast.

I will choose to feast.

Julie Stockman lives in Farmland, Indiana where she homeschools her children with her husband, Jeff. She spends her days baking, gardening, keeping chickens, exploring the nature around them, practicing gratitude and mindfulness, and writing about it all on her blog, Heirloom Homestead.

Other Posts by Julie Stockman:

When Mama Really Does Know Best: Why I Love Tandem Nursing

Organic Food Shopping Tips

Ideas for Finding a Good Naturopath or Nutritionist in Your Area

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Also tagged , | Comments (0)

Early Signs of Mood Disorder

March 8, 2011 – 2:41 pm

By Julie Stockman

Last month, I talked a little about my struggles with seasonal depression (see Winter Blues). This winter, just like most winters, I had little issues I would notice that I don’t usually get in the summer. My nails would break more, my mouth would split at the corners, my hair was more brittle. Certainly, they were clues to nutritional deficiencies and tired organs that I should have attended to more quickly.

When our bodies are in discord, there are usually signs that can alert us to fix things long before we become unwell. These are signs we can learn and notice that tell us our body isn’t receiving the nourishment it needs to stave off depression and maintain a consistent positive mood.

Magnesium

A magnesium deficiency can very quickly cause mood issues, especially feelings of anxiety and dread. Fortunately, it’s also one of the easier deficiencies to recognize. Intense chocolate cravings are a signal to increase your magnesium. If the chocolate cravings are followed by feelings of unexplained dread, as if you can’t shake the feeling that something terrible is about to happen, you can almost be sure your magnesium levels aren’t right.

Conventional wisdom tells us that magnesium should always be balanced properly with calcium and many supplements are sold already in the proper balance of calcium to magnesium. According to my own doctors, I run on the side of needing more magnesium and a proper cal-mag balance isn’t right for me. I become magnesium deficient. I share this fact because it’s yet another example of our uniqueness and another good reason to learn to read your own body.

Regardless of how you balance your calcium and magnesium, remember that the only supplements that support your body – generally speaking – are those derived from whole foods where the entire vitamin and mineral complex is present, not simply one part. Bone broths made from healthy, organic, free-range animals provide magnesium and a host of other vitamins and minerals in perfect amounts.

B-Vitamins

The B-Vitamin complex is incredibly important for our moods. Deficiencies in these can cause everything from depression to anger to anxiety to nervous disorders. In the winter, I like to take a food-based B complex supplement. When I get cracks in the corners of my mouth, ongoing fatigue that I can’t kick, or unexplained headaches, I’m reminded to take my supplement.

Mine is also mixed with iron because I find myself especially drained after my monthly cycle. All the above symptoms seem to occur at this time. I think of it as my body needing a rebuilding after a few days of blood loss.

Nettle tea, a regular drink in our house made from the leaves of the stinging nettle plant, is a great deterrent of so many deficiency symptoms including those from B-Vitamins.

Adrenals

After watching and learning from my body for many years, I am absolutely convinced that my needs for supplementation are caused by weak adrenals. And what causes those weak adrenals? Simple: my love for coffee.

Each time I have coffee, I get a little shot of adrenaline. This is great at getting me through the next hour or two, especially after a night of being awakened repeatedly with a sick or cranky baby. But this constant onslaught of adrenaline wreaks havoc on the rest of my body. One day I hope to kick my coffee addiction, but in the meantime, I choose to “Band-Aid” it with supplements.

Adrenal fatigue causes wide fluctuations in blood pressure. If you get a brief dizzy spell when you get up quickly from a sitting position or bend over and stand back up, you could be suffering from adrenal fatigue. The short dizzy spell is a result of a sudden drop in blood pressure.

I take a Standard Process supplement to support my adrenals, but this brand is typically only available through a practitioner. However, you could cut caffeine and sugar instead and probably have even better results.

Sugars

When your sugars are off, you’re likely to feel imbalanced. A very common sugar imbalance among women of childbearing age is hypoglycemia. This is an easy problem to spot because it causes such distinct symptoms. If you feel hungry or haven’t eaten in awhile and your blood sugar goes too low into the hypoglycemic stage, you can feel foggy headed, dizzy, sweaty, anxious, weepy or very angry.

Be aware that your blood sugar and your adrenal function go hand in hand. Insulin and adrenaline have a balanced relationship when your body is functioning as it should. When it’s not, each affects the other drastically.

If you’re waking up in the middle of the night with a start or a rapid heartbeat, hypoglycemia could be the culprit. If so, what you’re experiencing is an adrenaline shot from your sugars going too low as you sleep.

Try cutting back or eliminating sugary and caffeinated foods and drinks during the day, and eating something balanced with protein, fats and whole grains that will “stick with you” right before bed. It’s much easier to maintain a positive outlook when you are well-rested.

Vitamin D

A discussion about the blues wouldn’t be complete without a word on Vitamin D. As modern women in seasonal climates, most of us spend a good deal of the year indoors. During the colder months, we barely see the sun and receive no Vitamin D from it. Our bodies need Vitamin D all year long, not just in the summer, so consider supplementing this important vitamin when the weather turns grey and cold. It just might help keep the winter blues from coming on in the first place.

Other posts by Julie Stockman:

When Mama Really Does Know Best: Why I Love Tandem Nursing

Organic Food Shopping Tips

Ideas for Finding a Good Naturopath or Nutritionist in Your Area

Julie Stockman lives in Farmland, Indiana where she homeschools her children with her husband, Jeff. She spends her days baking, gardening, keeping chickens, exploring the nature around them, practicing gratitude and mindfulness, and writing about it all on her blog, Heirloom Homestead.

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Also tagged | Comments (0)

Winter Blues

February 7, 2011 – 7:43 am

By Julie Stockman

Today is January 31st of 2011, says my Macbook’s date and time box.

Today is the last day of the longest full month of winter. Today is sunny and 28 degrees where I live. We can usher in February tomorrow. February holds the promise of maple syrup and longer days and above all, only 28 days to its name. It holds the promise of leading us to Spring.

January has been stagnant and grey. The skies have been oppressive and looming, grey after day after grey after day.

Last year I was pregnant in January and I have never felt the choking, suffocating, icy grip of SAD (seasonal affective disorder) like I did last year. Last year I would stand in the shower three or four times a day, begging the water to wash away the sadness. I would cry, and tell myself it was okay to cry, until the crying became too heavy to bear, and I would tell myself to stuff the sadness back into the box inside my head that held the grief and pain of ancient losses. The box that held the fear of pregnancy and the fear of not being pregnant.

I imagined the box being too full – losses and miscarriages and the burning constant desire for my mother’s presence spilling out of the edges all over the place. It was too much. Piece by piece, I shoved the spillage back into the box and shut the lid tight. Sometimes I put heavy things on the lid to keep it shut. Tight. Lid shut tight. I would turn off the water in the shower, dry myself off, and attempt normalcy with my family.

This year, I spent many January days looking out the front window mentally repainting the landscape. I would paint blue skies right over the grey. I would paint green trees along the road, vegetable plants in the front garden, birds jumping from plant to plant. On particularly brave days, I would paint sunflowers. Longing for warmth and sun would then become grief over its lack and I would shut my eyes. Tight. Eyes shut tight. I would reset the switch to this cold Winter reality and rejoin my family.

In the third week of January this year, I realized that January seemed to have no beginning and no end. I wrote about it in my head. I didn’t put it on paper. Words on paper can make depression real. Depression is best left fleeting. I told myself to work through it – to literally work through it. Do the dishes. Vacuum the hall. Don’t watch TV. Don’t be lazy. When I sit is when the grey skies push down on me. Bake bread. Feed the animals. Visit friends.

I know I am not alone in my Winter Blues. I trivialize them as blues, regardless of their severity, because it makes it easier for me to pluck them off as soon as possible.

I long to give voice to the seasonal struggle without giving it more power. I long to find a way to appreciate the rhythms of winter without resenting its yearly return. I long for my inner emotional life to stay temperate regardless of the weather around me.

But more than anything, I long today to see not just this last day of January, but the last day of February. Come quickly now, please.

As I notice the SAD feelings return at the end of each year, I’m recognizing patterns. The busier I stay, the less they affect me. The more active I can be physically, the better I feel. And contrary to my usual way of rolling with my instincts, the more I reach outward rather than give in to the desire to draw inward, the happier I stay.

I have faith that I will continue to find the paths that lead me away from SAD feelings without medicines – pharmaceutical or herbal – and that I can remember to stay thankful for the beautiful gift of life that I see in my children.

And I have hope that one day I can say goodbye to the SAD feelings once and for all, just as I can today to the dreadfully long month of January.

Other posts by Julie Stockman:

When Mama Really Does Know Best: Why I Love Tandem Nursing

Organic Food Shopping Tips

Ideas for Finding a Good Naturopath or Nutritionist in Your Area

Julie Stockman lives in Farmland, Indiana where she homeschools her children with her husband, Jeff. She spends her days baking, gardening, keeping chickens, exploring the nature around them, practicing gratitude and mindfulness, and writing about it all on her blog, Heirloom Homestead.

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Comments (2)

Fertility and Your Quality of Life

December 3, 2010 – 6:27 am

By Kimberly Racic, Editor of Fertile Imagination and Founder of Fertility Flower

We bought a house two weeks ago. A small house. In fact it’s just 10 square meters bigger than our current (small, 60 sq meter) apartment. While this is not much of a gain in size, this move is a huge stride in terms of improving our quality of life. We now have wonderful, fresh open spaces around us, and spaces with interest, too – such as an orchard with apples and pears and plums. We have walnut and hazelnut trees. We have a barn, complete WITH HAY and a barn cat that sleeps there.

Apart from what’s already there, I’m looking forward to planning and planting a garden. Gardening is a passion of mine and certainly an influence in the choice of the name for this project, Fertility Flower. I’ve already started to research the varieties of heirloom vegetables that will thrive in our particular location (and I didn’t til, as per Megan Loukota’s guidance in To Til Or Not To Til). Our work on this farm is part realization of the dream of home ownership; part getting out there and playing in the mud.

You’re probably wondering what this has to do with conception and fertility.

A lot, actually.

How often have you heard quips from well-intentioned friends, family and even experts who tell you to simply ‘relax’ and pregnancy will miraculously happen. In fact, studies show that stress levels in women who are trying to conceive (and having it not progress as hoped) are comparable to the stress levels found in cancer, HIV and heart disease patients (see Alice Dormar’s research). It’s pretty hard, if not impossible, to flip a switch and forget months or even years of trying (so far, unsuccessfully) to conceive. However, I’m with Julie Stockman, who said in Infertility and the Power of Rational Problem Solving,

˝The focus on positive thinking as the cure-all for infertility bothers me for so many reasons. The emotions of women who are struggling with conceiving and carrying to term are already hormonally askew. It’s not fair or productive to criticize their thoughts when their thoughts are already so self-critical.˝

The problem is that research is finally starting to come in that suggests that patients who have a less harried outlook have an easier time becoming pregnant (see this pivotal Oxford University study). The Oxford University study and others show that stress is caustic to our bodies, poison from top to bottom.

Since I know as well as you do that it’s impossible to ‘just relax’, I offer you the following advice. Make your days beautiful. I’m telling to find inspiration wherever you can. Most of all, I’m telling you to heal your whole self, mind and body, and you’ll be amazed and what it does for your fertility as well as your mental state.

How successfully do you deal with the extreme highs and lows of trying to conceive? Are your emotions something that you try to reign in?

Other posts that you might also like:

Advice for the Two Week Wait

Ideas for Finding a Good Naturopath or Nutritionist In Your Area

Herbs and Fertility

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Also tagged | Comments (0)

Advice for the Two Week Wait

November 4, 2010 – 2:20 pm

By Amber Morrissey, doula

You wait to ovulate, endure the two week wait, wait to test, wait for the test to change, wait to start again. Trying to make a baby is a beautiful time. It also involves lots of waiting.

Good things take time to happen.

We are a young healthy couple with no know fertility issues, and we are on our 17th cycle of trying to conceive our first child. We are calm. Our relationship is strong.

It isn’t always easy, I’ll be honest. I’ve had emotional breakdowns, I’ve cried, I’ve refused to talk, I’ve talked too much. I’ve done everything in my power and nothing at all. But overall, these last 16 months of trying to create have been a time of self growth and discovery.

Staying grounded is a huge part of it for me. I’ve chosen not to beat myself up if I bleed, it isn’t my fault or anyone else’s. I cry if I feel I need to, or laugh. If I’m angry, I let myself feel that deeply, but then move on.

I’ve seen my share of snow white tests, but I don’t make it a habit to test. Some months I record my temperature and fertile signs, and other months I don’t. I do what feels right at the time. I try to wait until

18 days after ovulation before turning to a piece of plastic. That plastic will not make you more pregnant or less, so I see very little point in wasting hope on urine.

During this journey I’ve used different methods to help me stay relaxed, positive affirmations, reiki, gentle self-care. But mostly, just staying positive and trusting. Trusting my body, trusting my husband, trusting timing and our child.

I continue to look at this waiting period as a way to prepare for parenthood. Children don’t sleep or eat when it’s best for us, they have lessons to share. We can set up conditions to allow sleep to come, but alas they are the ones that need to close their eyes and allow it to fall. Or, be fertilized and embed into the uterus. We cannot control that. We must do what we can to allow it to happen, and then trust it will.

Other people cannot tell you how to find peace in the two week wait, you’ll have to find what works for you. Try to find what works for you, make it a priority. Try lots of different things, or do nothing and see if it comes. Follow you heart, you know your body and mind best.

This journey to motherhood can be all consuming, give yourself permission to not allow it to be. Be excited, but do things just because you like to. Have some wine, or go out dancing, or drink your morning coffee if you want to. You deserve it.

During the two week wait, I don’t visit trying to conceive forums, or read books on conception, because this helps me stay grounded. For me I need to turn off those outside voices and focus inward. Some days that focus is like looking through a window on a rainy night, blurred and calm. Other times my connection to myself is highly alert.

Breathing, trusting, living – on our way to conception.

“Your body is perfect and the most perfect egg is waiting to be released”.

“Your baby knows the perfect timing, trust your baby”.

Amber Morrisey is a birth & postpartum doula, reiki practitioner, placenta encapsulator & babywearing educator in St. Johns, Newfoundland. She can be found at www.birthroutes.com.

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By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Also tagged | Comments (2)

Regaining Normalcy After A Baby

September 28, 2010 – 8:14 pm

I’m chewing on a lot these days, more than ever before. Between the Fertility Flower project and my family life, I have a lot to process. But, in the last week or so and for whatever reason, I am starting to feel more like myself – competent, making progress, organized. The house is what I would even call ‘clean’. Prior to Blanka, I had heaps of motivation, ideas, plans, etc. and that didn’t change after Blanka’s arrival. What did change for me was my ability to execute those plans, bring those ideas to light.

Her schedule is now my schedule. Her needs are my needs. Same ‘ole story. And yes, there are times that I wish (and even plead) for a few more minutes so that ‘mommy can finish this sentence’ but more often than not, the sentence remains a fragment until the next nap. C’est la vie. This is what Jessi Arias-Cooper was talking about in her post Origins of a Real Mom Revolution.

I know all new parents go through this – the period of adjustment after a new family member enters the picture. The re-alignment occurs for many around the first birthday, according to our discussion of the topic on the Fertility Flower Facebook page. For me, with Blanka at 10 months, I’m enjoying the sense that I am finally starting to claw my way back to the surface. I still don’t complete all that I’d like. I think I can kiss those days goodbye. In fact, most of my projects/ideas don’t even get started these days. But there is the perception of a wisp of change in the air and for me, that might be the most important thing.

So, chin up new mommies. The disaster area that is your life right now doesn’t last forever!

For you experienced moms, how long did it take for post-partum normalcy to return?

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Also tagged | Comments (1)

Origins of a Real Mom Revolution

August 11, 2010 – 12:47 am

By Jessi Arias-Cooper

When I dropped my nine-to-five gig and donned the barefoot and pregnant lifestyle (literally), I had my life of perfect motherhood all mapped out.

I was going to be the mom at the playground that everyone envied. All the ladies would want my perfect hair, makeup and clothes. My sickeningly well-mannered kids would be dressed impeccably with tummies full of well-balanced meals and constantly smiling. My house would never be disheveled and my husband wouldn’t have to lift a finger when he came home from a long day at work.

I’m here to tell ya, mamas, I lived that dream…for about a week. Then I realized that being someone who I’m not was an exhausting fool’s game. I lost sleep and energy trying to keep myself dolled up while vacuuming staircases and tending the garden. My poor little dudes were afraid to get their hands dirty, so they wore a deer-in-the-headlights look on their faces if sidewalk chalk turned their tiny digits funky colors.

I’m not perfect, and in fact, have grown to officially loathe the concept of the “Perfect Mom.” I’m just as beautifully flawed as the next gal and I like it that way.  I’m not dying under the oppressive weight of living some self-inflicted motherhood nightmare and my children are much happier.

Acting as though my doo-doo doesn’t have a malodorous aroma and pressuring my very young boys to behave with maturity beyond their tender years, was only making things unpleasant. And, worst of all, it was fueling a message to the masses that a good mom has to fit some unattainable Mom-Barbie mold.

While I enjoy looking nice, raising a happy family and keeping an attractive home, Mom-Barbie I am not. Not every day is going to be a good hair day and my kids are going to get gooey from the occasional glazed doughnut. When the hubz gets done working, there are going to be diapers that need his immediate attention or his meatloaf will have to wait.

I charge you ladies to join the Real Mom Revolution. We may sport ponytails and have kids with cowlicks, but our home will be a happier place.

Jessi Arias-Cooper is a thirty-something, Midwestern mom of three boys. Her mission is simple: help women find confidence in who they are and make themselves a priority in their own lives. When she’s not typing away for the benefit of the blogosphere, you’ll probably find her wrestling with her boys and watching really rotten B-movie horror flicks with her husband. If you’d like more insights into who Jessi really is, check out her site Mama’s Got Flair. She’d love to see ya there!

By Kimberly | Posted in Blog, Home Sweet Home | Comments (2)